Selective Memories of Vietnam 1969-1970

Average customer rating:

Hekpful but lacking

Great Insights -

This book finally gave me the strength and insight to move forward!

An Addiction is an Addiction

better than I expected

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When and Why Love Doesn't Work, and What to Do About It
Howard Halpern
Manufacturer: Bantam
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go

DON'T CALL THAT MAN!: A SURVIVAL GUIDE TO LETTING GO

How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life

How to Fall out of Love: How to Free Yourself of Love That Hurts--and Find the Love That Heals...

Women Who Love Too Much

ASIN: 0553260057
Release Date: 1983-07-01

Book Description

Are you in love--or addicted? How to know when to call it quits...and how to find the courage to call it quits.

Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more pain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction--and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you:

Why you can get addicted to a person.

Why and how you may try to deceive yourself. ("He really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it.")

How you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship.

How to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you.

Why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are "in love."

How to get through the agonizing breakup period--without going back.

How not to get caught in such a painful relationship again.

Customer Reviews:

Hekpful but lacking.......2007-09-13

There are a wide variety of obsessive, addictive, compulsive situations, and the author focuses exclusively on people breaking up from a relationship. If that is where you are coming from (and most people will be), the book is excellent because it covers the internal thinking that goes on in your head and how you can transform that into something more realistic and objective. I really liked that and found it beneficial.

My concern is that some of the most dysfunctional addictive situations are NOT based on actual relationships, and the author should at least touch on these. For instance, how about a high school student who has an obsession with one of their teachers? The book is pretty lengthy, so to intentionally exclude such cases just seems wrong to me.

I read an earlier copy of this book, but I can see that only the cover has changed for 2003, not the contents. Maybe a second edition could address my concerns.

Great Insights - .......2007-07-18

The insights represented in the book have been key to helping me take purposeful steps to begin to realize God's best for me.

Addiction will almost always lead to destructive behaviour. The insight here helped me understand how, through my addiction I had placed a relationship before God - and with the end of the relationship a couple of years ago, I took a path that would surely have led to my destruction.

It was an incredibly painful eye opener - I chose to sin after a break-up, yet my break-up was not with God - so why did I betray God? Howard Halpern's book will encourage you to find that source of insecurity and need for validation and help you on a road to realizing the gem that lies inside every one of us.

I would recommend picking this book up, going through the table of contents and selecting three key topics that are most relevant to you right now and dig in. You will be blessed for taking the chance.

This book finally gave me the strength and insight to move forward!.......2007-07-15

As with many reviewers above, I've read tons of relationship books and self-help books in the past but haven't quite come across anything that hit me so profoundly. I was involved with this emotionally abusive man for over a year who was clearly bad for me. The problem was that I was also addicted to him and although I knew my intuition was telling me to end it for many months, I just couldn't get myself to do it. We used to go through phases of break-ups and make-ups, stress, tears, countless sleepless nights and eventually people's patience (family & friends) started to grow thin as they realized it was no use trying to convince me to get out. It was like, I was this lonely little bird, emotionally battered and exhausted but couldn't fly out of the cage in a fear of the unknown and the terrifying separation anxiety. Each time this happened, I found myself holding onto him even tighter. One day, while mindlessly searching for some resources to help me get out of the misery, I came across Dr. Halpern's book. I was skeptical in the beginning but the more I read the reviews, the more I wanted to give it a read. Once I started the book, honestly, I found myself relating to every single aspect of this addictive behavior that was deeply rooted in my psyche. It was like an autopsy of the whole situation, if you like. So I finally got a courage to end the relationship 2 weeks ago. At this stage, I'm going through all the raw emotions like depression, sadness, loss, insomnia etc but the difference now is that I know it will only last for a limited period of time and I know I have a strength and insight to move forward. I strongly believe in myself and the brighter future ahead of me. I recommend this book to anyone who's going through similar experiences as I have (be it a toxic relationship or a marriage) and sincerely hope you reclaim yourself and have a happy life that you truly deserve. I know I will!

An Addiction is an Addiction.......2007-07-15

This book is as relevant today as when it was first published,maybe more so as we see more relationships fail every day. For anyone involved in a 12 Step recovery group, the author makes a clear and identifiable comparison between other addictions and addiction to a person. And unlike other so called self help books, "How to Break Your Addiction to a Person" shares practical steps to a solution. If you ever wondered "what went wrong", this is a most rewarding read.

better than I expected.......2007-07-03

The brightly coloured cover and the snappy title had me expecting something less substantial from this book and I was pleasantly surprised! It is a meaty read with clear explanations, constuctive advice and exercises to help the reader out of this emotional trap. Well worth the cash and the time.

Customer Reviews:

Don't buy this book.......2005-07-05

I was totally disappointed with Fondue It! I expected a jumping off point closer to traditional fondue, but instead, the majority of the book deals with elaborate recipes -- spring rolls, grilled polenta -- that are better suited to kitchen preparation, not around the fondue pot, with full guest interaction. Also, the book was laid out in an amateurish, hard to follow way. It was really not what I, as an experienced cook but a beginner at home fondue, was looking for.

I can't wait to get it.......2002-01-04

I purchased this book for my cousin as a Christmas present this year. I looked at all of the recipes and decieded that I needed a fondue pot! My husband got me the fondue pot, now I must get this book. There is such a variety of things to make in this book from your basic cheese fondue to dishes I hadn't even thought of making in a fondue pot.

Book Description

"Of greatest use to beginners here is the description and step-by-step illustrations of four different assembly processes...The dozen projects will introduce first-time mosaicists to the art without...frustration: designed by professionals, each includes elaborate instructions, pattern (if appropriate), color photographs, and artists' tips..."--Booklist. "You'll never look at a shard of glass in the same way again."--Glass Craftsman. 128 pages (all in color), 8 1/2 x 10.

Book Description

This book is full of strategies for battling chaos and uses the AZURE System for organizing household areas from individual rooms to carjack prevention to paper systems. It is geared to working women but anyone wanting a more orderly household can use it. The book is also a minor battleplan. Why? Women, in a way, are also warriors. We fight drunk drivers, glass ceilings, child abuse, land mines, poverty, and injustice all over the world. We also need to attack clutter, time wasters, money robbers, and energy drains especially in our own homes. This is your code book. Take what you need to win.

Customer Reviews:

pretty good.......2006-07-06

I did like this book because it offers a "battle plan"-you feel empowered just reading it. Some of the ideas in the book are very very practical and I would have never thought about them. However...not all the ideas are all that original, and I was doing lots of the things described anyway. Another problem is that the author, instead of showing more about organizing paperwork, refers her readers to a different book... Overall, it's a pretty nice read, but for the organizing freaks out there-don't expect an epiphany!

AZURE Your Way to an Organized, Comfortable Home.......2003-03-07

Written in a conversational style, Dr. Bishop guides us through a delightful process of decluttering and organizing our home environments--to Assess, Zone, Unload, Rearrange & Enjoy. Chapters address creating organized rooms and work and storage spaces throughout the home. This comprehensive manual is especially valuable for the numerous checklists for project planning and for documenting important family and household information. Also includes extensive, useful Resources, Apprendix, and Bibliography sections.

If reading from beginning-to-end is not your style, start by learning Dr. Bishop's philosophy of AZURE-ing (p.340-41) and move to Chapter 4 to create your own Personal Decompression Chamber. Then, in your personal care retreat, read the remaining chapters that will guide you in the process of organizing your other home environments, and simplifying your life to enjoy it more!

Solid, useful, and highly recommended ideas.......2002-09-08

Household Winners For Working Women: Your Personal Organizational Tool Kit To Declutter & Design A Comfortable Home is a highly practical and "user friendly" guide for keeping one's home free of useless encumbrances and enhancing a cozy, liveable space in which to better enjoy life. Written specifically for working women with limited time for housework, individual chapters address everything from an easy-to-access closet, to choosing groceries that offer maximum nutrition and delicious preparation with minimum fuss, to car cleaning and car jacking prevention tips, Household Winners For Working Women is packed cover to cover with solid, useful, and highly recommended ideas, suggestions, and advice.

Making My Space.......2002-07-23

I like the author's use of humor as well as the included lists for organization. It is possible to organize one area at a time. I have read Alexandria Stoddard in the past and like how this author incorporates her ideas especially for the Decompression Chamber. I live in a one room apartment so I can develop my own Cozy Corner.
This book is more an advanced course in organization than other books I have used in the past. This previous knowledge is often assumed. The book also has another problem common to books on organization. Many of us rent and for that reason cannot add built-ins to where we live.

It made my wife very happy........2002-05-28

I purchased this book as a gift for my wife. She is a fairly well organized person but she said that she needed to be better about certain tasks. So anyway, I gave it to her and she said it was perfect. The fact that she was able to read and zoom in on the relevant chapters to her pleased her to no end. I highly recommend this book. It is a great gift idea.

Average customer rating:
Gerard Hoffnung : His Biography
Annetta Hoffnung
Manufacturer: Gordon Fraser Gallery, Ltd.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
ASIN: B000L6UN50

Book Description

Details the author's experiences after leaving the East coast to live on a 10-acre farm called La Junta in northern New Mexico, where he built a house, fenced in land, lived, and wrote.

Customer Reviews:

Food for the Heart.......2000-09-22

There ought to be a name for this genre. The jacket blurb says "nature/Southwest literature". But Annie Dillard did this in the Northeast and Edward Abbey did it all over the Southwest and down rivers. Everett Ruess and Ann Zwinger did it in SE Utah with superb sketches and wood cuts. C.L. Rawlins and Gretel Ehrlich do it in Wyoming with sketches and photographs. Stanley Crawford did it with *Mayordomo* and *A Garlic Testament* a few miles SE of Tom Ireland in the Embudo Valley between Taos and Santa Fe (or halfway to Los Alamos - whichever way your crow flies).

"People who bond with 'place' and then write about it with philosophical comments and profound/funny/zen-like observations along the way" is a bit cumbersome. These people out-Thoreau Thoreau (and I'm from Thoreau, New Mexico [heh heh]; I ought to know). All these authors (and more) do this thing superbly well, in their own unique voices, but all the same, the genre deserves a better name than "nature/Southwest" or "nature/Northeast."

Ireland has added a new dimension with Angie Coleman's joyful paintings of exactly this same country round about. [I've debated about extracting and framing these paintings - still debating. Think I'll have to buy another copy of the book.]

This author reproduces his encounters with his Spanish and Indian neighbors (sometimes poignant, somtimes frustrating, always funny). These little essays/vignettes stand by themselves, but at the very end, the writer includes a story about La Pascualita - a real person who sweeps the roads with her broom and is housed and adopted by the entire community of La Madera. Ireland weaves her into a story that is reminiscent of Rudolfo Anaya, but very much his own.

And his piece about Magdalena, the magpie he adopted, is an original for sure.

"Walking around with a bird on your head is like watching life from a tenement window." "What's the collective noun for magpies? How about 'complaint'? There's a complaint of magpies in a cottonwood on the hillside across the river."

He watches the ravens of La Junta: "I was still standing there when the raven blew up over the cliff and almost into my face. It must have scared him almost as much as it scared me, to be riding the blast sixty feet off the ground and then all of a sudden to be facing a man. He shat, climbed up over the reach of harm, and held there at the closest safe distance to look again, reassembling his world into the kind of order he trusted it to have. (Ravens up. Men down.) Then he spoke. It was a sort of rattle, as much from the bowel as from the throat, and in it there was both fear and outrage: 'This cliff is taken. You are not wanted here.' He drifted north, riding the thermal, checking to see if there were any more of me around, then fell up and away into the bottomless sky."

About roosters: "...their voices make me think of the smell of joss sticks because *things mean things:" the rooster means incense, and the helicopter means searching the river for the body of a dead man, and I deceive myself that at eight o'clock this morning the real work will begin. Things mean things: the substance of faith, what we live for, those meanings, those coincidences of sky & rain & thought that jump at us."

He makes you feel like you're perching on his shoulder, looking through his eyes, seeing what he sees, hearing what he hears, and understanding through his mind and heart.

"Towards evening, the sun dropped into a corridor between the clouds and the little valley was filled with pink light. I put down my shovel and stood under a juniper to witness the change. It was like being in an aquarium: immersed, the bare cottonwoods, the hillside, the vacant house across the river, the fence posts, my own hands acquired a light of their own. The air filled with sugary spines of ice, and a rainbow appeared, its northern pole planted in the willows of a neighbor's cow pasture. I could see impossible distances in every direction; up the valley to La Zorra, down the crooked Valleciros, up the canada behind Vigil's store - as if I could see around corners."

All through these reflections are little personal musings:

"What is it about the presence of parents that makes us feel something less than alive, when they're the ones responsible for bringing us here in the first place?"

About dreams and water: "To wake in the dark and peel off the skin of your dream: to go out in the dark in the wet yard where drops of water hang from the asparagus berries and the night sounds are swamp sounds, sounds of water. And this our dry land smells like water and the creek runs brown."

And about work: "Ulceration of the spirit. It seems that when I have a job, my life becomes the job and not much else. There is no true rest and no true work until it's over."

"...we have made our joy depend on our work, and having come this far, we can't renounce it, can't be free from it, but only look for freedom in it."

"When I stand outside watching the clouds and the birds, I'm doing my work. These things need to be studied and praised, at least reported on."

And report he does. The title of the book comes from a quote by Malcolm Lowry, "You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair."

This is a beautiful little gem of a book with lovely paintings, anecdotes and musings - the kind of book to keep by your bed and pick up and read at random. It's also a book to read all the way through from the beginning - more than once. In a word - delight. Five stars - easy.

pamhan99@aol.com

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